Karuna Club

Notes from a non-normal career path

2026 started very normally for me. Family life was feeling nicely settled, with the kids fully past the all-consuming baby/toddler years, and a work situation that was immensely fulfilling. I certainly didn’t imagine that come Autumn, I would be entering one of my life’s major transition phases.

Through the year, it became clear that the time had come for me to step away from my role at The True Athlete Project, the charity that I had helped set up and grow over the past 10 years. The decision was full of emotion, and certainly not an easy one to take, but the feeling in me once it was made completely confirmed that it was the right one. I was more ready than I realised, to move on and explore other parts of myself in the world.

Now, I have some understanding of the mechanics of transitions – through the work with elite athletes that I had been doing, and including co-facilitating on a programme specifically designed to support athletes as they transition out of their sport and into the wide, new world.

I decided that the scale of the phase I was leaving (growing a charity from scratch to being a sustainable and well-respected organisation is no mean feat!), deserved some real time and space to process. I was also very conscious of not just rushing onto the next project simply because I’d been used to being in proaction-mode for so long. So, I allocated the last three months of the year to be a period of spaciousness. I would play a full role in family life, and still had bits of private work booked into that period, but for the rest of my time, I’d fill however I saw fit! I really wanted to stay open to where the energy would take me, follow my curiosity, and try some new things, before choosing a path of more focus from the new year.

I termed this period, my In-Life Retreat. It’s got a nice ring to it, I think.

That was the plan, anyway, but we all know about best-laid plans.

The decision to leave TAP sparked something within me. My mind, now a little loosened from its’ usual tethers, could start playing and exploring within expanded boundaries. In the first couple of weeks, I had a series of insights into the principles that I wanted to guide whatever came next for me.

First, I wanted to do much more in-person work. The charity was international in scope, with programme participants often spread across many countries. So most of my work was online.

Secondly, I felt ready to do even deeper work. We have always been immensely proud of the emotional depth of the spaces that we created in our programmes in the charity, and the stories of impact coming from our beneficiaries have been nothing short of miraculous. Truly life-changing, life-affirming work being done. Through all this, I have been developing my own practice, as a mentor, coach, facilitator… and I have continuously tried my best to follow the compassionate, mindful path that TAP stands for. A decade of that level of dedication to personal practice, with so many incredible teachers, mentors and peers to explore deep topics with, has had a profound impact on me. I truly have been test-case number 1 for the TAP approach.

I felt ready to take this strong inner foundation, and put it to use in even deeper ways. But which ways?

Once these two principles around in-person work, and deepening my practice, had landed in mind, next came the revelation that turned out to be the catalyst of catalysts.

I wanted to facilitate my own retreats.

That was it, at first. Simple. But that one thought seemed to propel me into a faster and more consistent level of flow than I had previously experienced in my life.

Quick on the heals of the first thought, was that this should begin with a focus on retreats for men. As I look around, I see a great need for spaces for men to be able to open up about how they really feel, and to open up to their own emotional inner life more.

As an aside, right at the time of writing this, I happened to have 3 conversations with 3 men within a week – all who said that our conversation was the most interesting they had had all year. For me it was simply being curious together about what is going on beneath the surface – the basis of my entire livelihood the past decade. But this simple opportunity - ancient in providence - to sit and ask deeper questions together is so lacking in men’s lives, but evidently not from lack of desire for it.

There are so few opportunities for men to do this in a space that they feel fully held and supported, without feeling like they are being therapized. Male culture has slowly been stripped of meaningful connection that allows us to be reflected in the good, caring men around us. Especially once we become husbands and fathers, with all the busyness and responsibility that follows, we start to lose connection to ourselves, which, if not attended to consciously, leads to pent up frustration, resentment, and a diminishing of our masculine strength and spirit. I see too many men who followed the path that society laid out for them, only to find themselves unfulfilled, living a life that seems to have been chosen for them. The enormous potential they once felt they possessed has dissipated through decades of fulfilling objectives that had meaning to others but not themselves. ‘Is this it?’ they sometimes wonder. Is it possible to change paths this late in the game? The bigger question sitting right underneath this is – ‘Am I courageous enough to make real changes in my life?’.

And on the flip side, I have spent the last 10 years leading programmes for the charity, seeing the way that being of service to another person or community absolutely lights a man up. I have seen this process ripple out from hundreds of individuals to their families and friends. And I have felt it personally, on a daily basis. The uplifting force of feeling aligned with your purpose.

We need to build back our male communities, where connection and service are equally valued. As it stands, the opportunities for men to gather, share their hopes and fears, give each other support and the strength to take the courageous choices that are needed, are few and far between. It has been surprising to me how many people still question whether there is a need for men’s only spaces. Throughout all of human history, men have kept other men in check – around a fire on a hunt, in the baths, in the pub. The question is simply, are we creating a healthy version of those spaces.

The insight that came next was that these men’s retreats could involve a plant medicine ceremony. Psychedelic experiences - when held with real intention and care - are among the most powerful I know of, for gaining higher perspectives on our lives, healing disconnection, and restoring a sense of agency.

Over the following weeks, as I played with the idea of these retreats, further insights arrived. One in particular seemed so important that I wondered why it had taken weeks to arrive.

Allow me to set the scene.

Psychedelics have occupied a special place in my mind, ever since I was a teenager. Beginning with exploring taking them with friends, I found that I had a deep fascination for the totally different type of consciousness they produced, with such consistency. That type of exploration was thrilling. We felt like true psychonauts (meaning: Explorers of inner space). I felt like Indiana Jones, exploring, risk-taking, to find the mystical treasure – and it was intoxicating.

But those experiences also provided alternative perspectives on life that I found incredibly valuable. I felt they were helping me to see more clearly what life was really about, and they were pointing to how I could live a good life by cutting my own path rather than following the procedure set by my parents, teachers and other figures of authority. I always struggled against authority of any kind in my youth. The more authoritarian the teacher, the more I pushed back. I still question authority to this day.

As I look back, I can credit that early adventurous period of my life with helping me follow a path through life that has been incredibly giving. Those early experiences, where I saw first-hand that reality is not what it seems on the surface, provided the rationale and motivation for me to choose a route through life that suited me alone, and not one to satisfy others.

That desire to cut my own path is a thread that runs through my life, and this feels like just the time to lean fully in to that, and design my life around my own excitement, energy and feeling of meaningfulness.

Once this idea for this kind of holistic men’s retreats formed in my mind, it was evidence that this was something of real meaning to me. This was worth following.

After a decade of training in creating spaces of deep reflection and connection, these retreats draw the above threads of my life together, and provide the opportunity to put my entire skillset to work - towards something I consider to be among the most important and meaningful of our time.

So, what shape does Karuna Club take?

Karuna Club will be based in the Netherlands in a couple of large, luxuriously converted farm houses. A carefully selected group of men will gather throughout the year to go on an adventure of self-discovery and connection to something bigger than ourselves. My team and I will hold and curate the experience of each retreat, with guest practitioners coming in to deliver their masterclasses in – Breathwork, Movement/Play, Sauna Gus/cold treatment, Aikido. For those who choose it, there’s also a legal psilocybin ceremony, held by an experienced Dutch team.

The range and quality of activities and practices might be the thing that draws guys in at first, but it is the quality of the conversation that will keep them coming back time and again. Something magical happens inside someone who, after a drought of meaningful connection with others, finally gets a chance to unpack what they are experiencing in life, with others going through something similar. These are the kinds of conversations that stick with you for years, that can shift you out of a ditch and kick you into gear. All of which can feel incredibly nourishing for the person who does not have this on the regular in their life.

The difference with this taking the club model, is that there will be group and 1-1 support baked into the offer. Monthly meetings, sharing what came up on retreat and how to integrate the lessons learned. 1-1 preparation and integration sessions, as well as ongoing talks where needed – all mean that nothing gets left to chance and nothing valuable gets lost or forgotten along the way.

We built this model of nested support into TAP’s global mentoring programme and consistently saw the power of it in action with more than 500 athletes over the past 10 years.

This is what I want to bring to Karuna Club, to match the challenge of the deep work that every man will be undertaking with an equally high level of support, care and love.

This will be a club where men gather to connect more consciously with their own inner landscape and the vital parts of themselves that they learned to tuck away in the name of responsibility. Through practices that consistently push us to our edges and confront us with our daily fears, anxieties and unchecked beliefs, we start to see ourselves anew, and become enlivened with a greater sense of purpose in life.

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The beautiful irony is that my own in-life retreat provided the space for me to hear the call to create retreat spaces of my own. This is the deepest work that I can imagine doing now and if this speaks to you, or a man in your life, just DM me for a chat/to connect us.

Starting December, the first two online meetups will be open for all.

1st Session: December 7th, 8-10pm UK time

DM me for the link